I love Christmas time. I love the music and the lights. I love the crispness of the air before it gets too cold. I love the light in the morning when the sun first rises. I love good Christmas music and the general cheeriness of people around the holiday. I love that people are more likely to greet one another and wish each other a Merry Christmas or Happy Holiday. I love warm drinks and watching A Muppet Christmas Carol repeatedly throughout the month of December. I love the goodies; an excuss to make, eat, and deliver as many treats as desired during this season. And I love being with family. In spite of my love for the season, this year I have felt a general humbug attitude during December. Unlike previous years, this year I had all my shopping done early, packages mailed off (except the one for overseas - sorry Rebecca), and plans made for the days preceding the celebration of Christ's birth. I have willingly participated in social engagements and even instigated a few on my own. We decorated early and listen to cheerful Christmas music, but my heart seems unchanged.
I've thought a lot about my humbug attitude and in my original reflection found many ways to place the blame. I blamed it on my lack of consistent exercise during the increasingly cold weather. I blamed it on the ever-increasing needs I see around me that I am unable to fulfill. I blamed it on my newly acquired bedtime of 8:00 p.m. because I can't seem to keep my eyes open any longer. I blamed it on the fact that we tightened our budget at the beginning of December - why didn't we wait until the new year? I blamed it on unrealized plans and a lack of alternative ones. I blamed it on broken traditions.
And then I realized I was being really juvenile, placing the blame on all these random things. Things that were still in my control. So I thought some more, and here's what I thought:
This season is to celebrate the birth and life of our Savior. To recognize the glorious gift of love and mercy and peace that He brought to an otherwise bleak and dreary life. To give thanks for the wondrous miracle of the Atonement and hope that it instills in mankind. To rejoice in the possibility of changing from an imperfect human to an heir of the Kingdom of God. Christ has given us the perfect gift and each Christmas is another opportunity to reflect on that gift and strive to live up to the potential it imparts. No one wants to feel the humbug spirit during such a magical time of year.
And that is why I look forward to reporting a change in my attitude and a feeling of the spirit of Christmas over the next week.
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