Grieving

11 July 2017:

The Tong-In moving company arrived this morning and started packing our house up. While I hoped for a gentle ramping down at work I was asked to step in as Flight Commander (Medical Director of sorts) in the Emergency Room. Each day has brought its problems and while I have only averaged about 70 hr work weeks it has been challenging to balance getting our family ready for the move and our trip.  

Anyone that knows Jari and I will know we love the Koreans and their country. So preparing to move has been a series of actions where I was just going through the motions and not processing it emotionally. 

Between the frantic cleaning and organizing last night and this morning nothing really changed about the way I was feeling - reluctant to leave but ignoring the fact we are doing just that at the same time. 

Then while clearing the fridge of artwork a few minutes ago I came across what feels like a priceless collection of drawings done by a girl born in America who thinks of herself as Korean. A wave of grief overwhelmed me and I started to cry much the same way I did when I left Venezuela after my mission.

I will miss this land more than words can describe. For now, I am left with the sound of boxes being closed with masking tape (nothing new to us during our military career) and the sound of Koreans chatting. I have no idea what they are saying. They are probably just talking shop and figuring out who is packing what, but for now, I will simply imagine they are saying things like 'we will miss you too.'